var n = 0;
var joke = new Array();
joke[0] = "Dyslexics have more fnu";
joke[1] = "DNA: National Dyslexics Association";
joke[2] = "Clones are people, two";
joke[3] = "Entropy isn't what it used to be";
joke[4] = "Ground Beef : A Cow With No Legs";
joke[5] = "A mouse is just an elephant built by the Japanese";
joke[6] = "A waist is a terrible thing to mind";
joke[7] = "Atheism is a non-prophet organization";
joke[8] = "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?";
joke[9] = "Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy";
joke[10] = "Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art";
joke[11] = "What if there were no hypothetical questions?";
joke[12] = "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm";
joke[13] = "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines";
joke[14] = "Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it.";
joke[15] = "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. \"Yes\" is the answer.";
joke[16] = "Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.";
joke[17] = "It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.";
joke[18] = "Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.";
joke[19] = "The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.";
joke[20] = "It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.";
joke[21] = "A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.";
joke[22] = "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.";
joke[23] = "I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.";
joke[24] = "What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?";
joke[25] = "I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.";
joke[26] = "Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.";
joke[27] = "If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?";
joke[28] = "No one ever says \"It's only a game.\" when their team is winning.";
joke[29] = "If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.";
joke[30] = "Think 'honk' if you're telepathic.";
joke[31] = "A smile a day keeps the boss thinking.";
joke[32] = "Always remember that you are unique... Just like everyone else...";
joke[33] = "Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.";
joke[34] = "Einstein: My wife doesn't understand me.";
joke[35] = "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. -- John F. Kennedy";
joke[36] = "I wouldn't mind dying - It's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me. -- R. Geis";
joke[37] = "Intelligence is what you do, when you don't know what to do.";
joke[38] = "It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. -- Isaac Asimov";
joke[39] = "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. -- Isaac Asimov";
joke[40] = "Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. -- Isaac Asimov";
joke[41] = "People will remember you better if you always wear the same outfit.";
joke[42] = "Tact is the art of making a point, without making an enemy.";
joke[43] = "Take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly, and try another. But by all means, try something. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt";
joke[44] = "The only thing more dangerous than a programmer with a soldering iron is a hardware engineer with a software patch.";
joke[45] = "UFO's are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.";
joke[46] = "We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.";

function slidemessage()
{
var now = new Date();
var sec = now.getSeconds();
var min = now.getMinutes();
var tmp = sec * min;
n = tmp % 47;
document.getElementById('one_liner').innerHTML = joke[n];
setTimeout("slidemessage()", 8000);
}

slidemessage();